Pun the Unbelievers

Discrimination. It's a big word, 14 letters in fact, but also metaphorically big with the weight that it bears. Discrimination has, for many years, caused me to hide away a major part of myself, too ashamed to be completely truthful with everyone in the world for fear of what they might think, what they might say. What might truly be lurking behind those polite "I accept you for who you are" responses.

But not anymore.

I would like to take this opportunity to admit to the world once and for all that I, Melinda Jennings, am a Punaholic.

It may not surprise all of you, I think even my mother has been in denial about the extent of my corny humour since my first day of school, when she told me I wasn't allowed to take my teddy with me and I told her I couldn't "bear to leave it". But for those who have been in the dark, allow me to shed some light on the affliction that is my addiction...

I'm the type of person who enjoys nothing more than pondering puns, conjuring cliches and trying to think of a third alliterative example. I could spend hours upon hours entertaining myself with the personal pun library that is my brain (proven fact, I'm not willing to divulge how I proved it though). Unfortunately, the kind of things I orchestrate and believe to be clever are usually met by a chorus of moans and groans.

So for all of you hay-ters out there and neigh sayers, here's some arguments for why you should embrace this pun colt. And for all of you people out there like me, here's a leg to stand on when you're trying to pun the unbelievers.

1. Puns make the world go round. Literally. Don't get sucked into the myth that it's caused by some gravitational pull, or attracted by the notion that love does the trick. It's puns, puns, and more puns.

2. The greats used puns. When it comes to literary geniuses, no one can argue that William Shakespeare isn't among them. In one of his most famous plays, Romeo and Juliet, there are not one but several instances of puns. This includes my personal favourite, which was uttered by Mercutio after being fatally stabbed, "tomorrow, you shall find me a grave man." If it's good enough for my main man Will S, it's good enough for me!

3. Puns make you better looking. And by better looking, I mean better AT looking. And by puns, I mean an eye doctor. And by a third point, I mean I only had two and this one is a complete waste of everyone's time.

Now I know that puns aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea, and I know my attempt to prove how great they are is coffee-niently short. But all I want you to know is that love them or hate them, this is who I am, and nothing you say or do will ever change that. They run in my blood, and you'd have to try in vein to make me stop using them - pun intended.








Bonus points for anyone who can accurately tell me how many puns are in this post. Make a guess using the comments.